There are no words.....

It has been more than two months since my last post. My baby girl is already 11 weeks old. Time really has just flown by at breakneck speed. I have watched my baby just blossom right before my very eyes into a very special individual although she doesn't quite grasp the concept yet. I wake up to her smiling face and little coos every morning and my heart just swells with so much love for this little angel. There have been very challenging moments, days when she would go without a single nap during the day and then pull some award-winning cranky tantrums during bedtime - nothing different from any other baby, I guess.

And there was also the week from hell, just last week when all three of us got colds. It was baby's first cold and it tore at my heart to hear how congested she was. (Be very, very grateful you know how to blow your nose - One of the small things that really do count.) Jon had it really bad and I had to let him rest since he couldn't take any days off. So, yours truly had to bear the brunt of it whilst taking care of the both of them. Towards the end of the week, I hit the wall and had a meltdown. Long story short, I ended up punching the closet door and tore open the skin on my knuckles. Let's just say I was wide awake after that, albeit still a complete mess. The next day was almost like a new day for me. I hadn't realized what a toll it was taking on me. I thought I could handle it well, but the stress of dealing with being sick, taking care of Jon and the baby, postpartum blues, being very broke and homesick was just building up and completely washed over me.

I am aware now of the huge changes in my life. It makes all the difference to be in the moment and acknowledge that things will never be the same again - It will always be better.